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Saturday, November 21, 2009

A List of "Don'ts" from 1913...Part 6

Well, I don't know about you, but I am picking up some super tips from Blanche Ebbutt from her Don'ts for Husbands and Don'ts for Wives. Could she get any more helpful? Yes siree, I think she can.

Don'ts for Husbands

I. General Habits - Part 5
Don't delegate the carving to your wife on the pleas that you "can't" carve. You should be ashamed to own that you can't do a little like that as well as a woman can. It is just laziness on your part. Besides, a man ought to take the head of his own table. (Also, if you're sitting around whilst wifey is cooking and she asks you to do something as simple as carve a roast, and you try and get out of it and in the process annoy her, just remember this: she has a carving knife in her hand. Just sayin', that's all. - JA)

Don't always refuse to go shopping with your wife. Of course it's a nuisance, but sometimes she honestly wants your advice, and you ought to be pleased to give it. (Of course, sometimes she just wants your credit card, or to hint at what she'd like for Christmas. "Oh, honey. Look at those GORGEOUS Pandora bracelets in the window of that store. And located in such a handy spot too! On the 4th level of Westfield right across from Rebel Sport! Well, how 'bout that?" - JA)

Don't be conceited about your good looks. It is more than probable that no one but yourself is aware of them; anyway, you are not responsible for them, and vanity in a man is ridiculous. (Yes gentleman. Time to stop the "How you doin'?" commentary in front of the mirror. Besides, when you wink like that, your wrinkles stand out more. - JA)

Don't refuse to get up and investigate in the night if your wife hears an unusual noise, or fancies she smells fire or escaping gas. She will be afraid of shaming you by getting up herself, and will lie awake working herself into a fever. This may be illogical, but it's true. (And believe me, it's totally coincidental that during those times we ask you to check for fire or escaping gas and the like, that one of the kids is also calling out. Since you're up.... - JA)

Don't hang about the house all day if your occupation does not take you abroad. Spend regular hours in your study or "den", or go out and play golf; but don't inflict your company on your wife during every minute of every day. She is fond of you, but she wants to be free sometimes. And she has business to do, if you haven't. (Amen to that, Blanche! Oh, and gentleman? If you're hanging around the house, try using just the one glass all day, and one tea cup. If you wouldn't mind. - JA)

Don'ts for Wives

I. Personalities - Part 5
Don't put on airs with your husband. If you can't be natural with him, you shouldn't have married him. (Exactly why I took the first leap in our relationship to break wind in Hubby's presence. I just wanted to act "natural" around him, that's all. - JA)

Don't expect your husband to be an angel. You would get very tired of him if he were. (That's, ah, within reason, of course. Taking up dodgy added "extras" at hotels is not acceptable. - JA)

Don't boast of your husband's money or birth or cleverness to your friends. It is nearly as bad as boasting of your own. (Well, I suppose it's fairly obvious how clever Hubby is, seeing he married me and all. - JA)

Once again, words of wisdom from Blanche. Really, how much better can it get?

Until next time...

For previous Don'ts from 1913, click on the links below:


Anonymous said...

Why I am just so busy scribbling down all these pointers that I just might give myself RSI. Hysterical yet again.

Tara (Waffling Along)

Thea said...

How does Blanche know so much??!!

emilydam said...

wise words...

Nomie said...

Oh where would we be without Blanche? Wise, wise woman.

MegsyJ said...

"don't inflict your company on your wife during every minute of every day. She is fond of you, but she wants to be free sometimes."

i.e. Bugger off and leave her alone. She really wants to sit down and read a book rather than run around after you...

Hilarious! Have just discovered your blog Jodie; it's great!

Jodie at Mummy Mayhem said...

Thanks for dropping by MegsyJ! Actually, I recalled seeing on MMia that you had started a blog, and was trying to find it earlier today (didn't seem to be linked to your follower info on here). Now I can see it attached to your avatar on this comment - so I'll check it out!