Well, officially, 'GPS' stands for "Global Positioning System". But I beg to differ.
On Saturday morning, Hubby decided to take all three boys off to the 7yr old's cricket match, and I planned to follow with the dog. (It's a family affair.)
After they piled in to the car, I went inside to enjoy the very rare experience of peace and quiet on a Saturday morning in our house. Just me and the dog. (Thank GOD he doesn't talk.) It was a perfect day. The sun was shining, it was warm. And quiet. Did I mention that?
After a few minutes, I noticed the sound of a car engine running. I went outside to investigate. There was the family car. Still in the driveway. 'I wonder what's wrong?' I thought. So I went up and opened the passenger door to the car. "What's up?" I asked Hubby. And it was then I noticed him punching in details in to the GPS. "Oh" I said. NOW I get it. I looked down at the front passenger seat. There was the street directory. "Why don't you just look up the location in here?" I suggested, motioning to the book within a hand's reach of his. "It's ok. I've got it" Hubby replied. Right.
Five minutes passed after I'd left him to it, and after checking, I was relieved to find the car gone. They were on their way.
I took my time getting ready, figuring that there was no point rushing to the match. I put food together, a bowl for the dog, a rug. I looked up the location and, being so straightforward, closed the directory and took off. The dog and I were on our way. Not far from the grounds, I noticed the time. It was less than 5 minutes until start time. I'd left about 25 minutes after Hubby, but I was still going to make most of the match. Good timing.
The dog and I arrived at the playing grounds. It was then, looking along the street at all the cars parked nearby, I knew something was up. I couldn't see our car. Ok, so maybe they'd parked somewhere else? The dog and I walked towards the entrance to the school where our match was being held. I looked through the iron gates to see familiar faces. Friends and their children, who had commenced the game just moments before. But no Hubby. And no kids. Oh dear.
I called Hubby's mobile. No answer. Was that because he was dead? Or at the very least injured and on his way in the ambulance? With the kids? God. Or was it because he was driving and wouldn't answer? I hoped it was the latter. Even though I was genuinely worried, there was also something else in the back of mind telling me what the cause for the delay was. The bloody GPS.
After a few phone calls, I finally noticed Hubby hurriedly getting the kids out of the car. Kids & Hubby intact. Phew. "What happened?" I asked, approaching them, but also keeping my distance in case nerves were slightly frayed. "I couldn't find it," he said, looking around trying to work out how to get in to the grounds. It was on the tip of my tongue to say, "You mean, the GPS didn't find it." But I refrained. Something told me this wasn't the time.
I'm not a fan of the GPS. Hubby acquired it through circumstance, and decided it a great idea to put in the family car. I protested at the time. "I don't drive very far from home. I can use the street directory. It takes so long to set that thing up, I'd rather just look up where I'm going!" But he was insistent. "It will help you find the quickest way. It knows the best way. The fastest way. You should use it." I wasn't convinced, and promptly threw it in to the glove box where it stayed. Until now.
So, what do I think GPS stands for? Easy. "God-awful Piece of Shite". That's what.