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Wednesday, July 14, 2010

What Does GPS Really Stand For?

These school holidays I've been giving myself a little extra time with my kids, therefore doing less blogging, but here's a post from the early days of my blog most of you will not have seen. Come back Friday for my weekly celebrity Hot or Not? (A new one!)

Well, officially, 'GPS' stands for "Global Positioning System". But I beg to differ.

On Saturday morning, Hubby decided to take all three boys off to the 7yr old's cricket match, and I planned to follow with the dog. (It's a family affair.)

After they piled in to the car, I went inside to enjoy the very rare experience of peace and quiet on a Saturday morning in our house. Just me and the dog. (Thank GOD he doesn't talk.) It was a perfect day. The sun was shining, it was warm. And quiet. Did I mention that?

After a few minutes, I noticed the sound of a car engine running. I went outside to investigate. There was the family car. Still in the driveway. 'I wonder what's wrong?' I thought. So I went up and opened the passenger door to the car. "What's up?" I asked Hubby. And it was then I noticed him punching in details in to the GPS. "Oh" I said. NOW I get it. I looked down at the front passenger seat. There was the street directory. "Why don't you just look up the location in here?" I suggested, motioning to the book within a hand's reach of his. "It's ok. I've got it" Hubby replied. Right.

Five minutes passed after I'd left him to it, and after checking, I was relieved to find the car gone. They were on their way.

I took my time getting ready, figuring that there was no point rushing to the match. I put food together, a bowl for the dog, a rug. I looked up the location and, being so straightforward, closed the directory and took off. The dog and I were on our way. Not far from the grounds, I noticed the time. It was less than 5 minutes until start time. I'd left about 25 minutes after Hubby, but I was still going to make most of the match. Good timing.

The dog and I arrived at the playing grounds. It was then, looking along the street at all the cars parked nearby, I knew something was up. I couldn't see our car. Ok, so maybe they'd parked somewhere else? The dog and I walked towards the entrance to the school where our match was being held. I looked through the iron gates to see familiar faces. Friends and their children, who had commenced the game just moments before. But no Hubby. And no kids. Oh dear.

I called Hubby's mobile. No answer. Was that because he was dead? Or at the very least injured and on his way in the ambulance? With the kids? God. Or was it because he was driving and wouldn't answer? I hoped it was the latter. Even though I was genuinely worried, there was also something else in the back of mind telling me what the cause for the delay was. The bloody GPS.

After a few phone calls, I finally noticed Hubby hurriedly getting the kids out of the car. Kids & Hubby intact. Phew. "What happened?" I asked, approaching them, but also keeping my distance in case nerves were slightly frayed. "I couldn't find it," he said, looking around trying to work out how to get in to the grounds. It was on the tip of my tongue to say, "You mean, the GPS didn't find it." But I refrained. Something told me this wasn't the time.

I'm not a fan of the GPS. Hubby acquired it through circumstance, and decided it a great idea to put in the family car. I protested at the time. "I don't drive very far from home. I can use the street directory. It takes so long to set that thing up, I'd rather just look up where I'm going!" But he was insistent. "It will help you find the quickest way. It knows the best way. The fastest way. You should use it." I wasn't convinced, and promptly threw it in to the glove box where it stayed. Until now.

So, what do I think GPS stands for? Easy. "God-awful Piece of Shite". That's what.



Brenda said...


There was this one time where Ms Lady GPS got so "pissed off" with the hubz for not following her directions. The bloody thing kept saying turn left, turn left. After a few seconds she must have figured out that the hubz would not follow her at all. So the poor thing shut up and displayed a big question mark on her screen. Rage Against The Machine much?

SquiggleMum said...

Hehehe... men and their toys. I'm pretty good with a street directory myself but hubby insists on using the maps function on the iphone. Guess who gets places faster...?!

Anonymous said...

The last time I went to Melbourne mum used the GPS to take us home from the airport. The trip usually takes between 15 and 20 mins, this time it took 45 and took us all over town. Can't say it made me want to go and pick up a God-awful Piece of Shite for myself.

Tara (Waffling Along)

Thea said...

Oh, I love it! You just can't tell them, right? Hehehe

Ami said...

Gosh this made me laugh!! I hate the GPS too! And I'm supposed to be Gen Y! Give me a street directory anyday.

Michelle said...

We used one on our recent trip and fell in love with her!!! Couldn't have survived without her!!! A couple of times she told us.... 'When it is safe, make a legal U turn' (which made us laugh!) and when we had an hour to kill and didn't know where anything was we plugged in shopping mall and she took us to the nearest one! Nicknamed her Maggie (short for Magellan ) and now considering getting one for home... though I wonder if it will be different since we used Maggie in a place where we had no idea!!

Jodie at Mummy Mayhem said...

I love that you named her Maggie! Classic!