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Thanks for stopping by. Mummy Mayhem is no longer updated. I now have a new, albeit smaller blog over at www.jodieansted.blogspot.com.au.

Drop by anytime. :)

Jodie
xox

Monday, January 04, 2010

The Tale of the Lap Dancing Spider

It's summertime. And that means many things, like: going to the beach, uneven tan marks (or in my case: uneven burn marks), watermelon, icy poles, sleeping under fans and drinking margaritas. (Ok that last one is an all-year-round event in our house, but enjoyed even more so over the warmer months. *wink*)

But it also means something else. The return of the Huntsman Spider.

Yes, as soon as the weather gets warmer, it really is only a matter of time before one of these charming, large-ish spiders will come crawling in to your home (if you're in Oz, that is), and settle themselves on a wall in your house somewhere.

Often, it's in the toilet. And by the time you realise it's there, it's too late. You're mid-wee, and you have no option (especially if you've given birth) to finish and get the hell outta there. Keeping one eye on it, willing for it not to MOVE or, God forbid, JUMP (as they sometimes do), you make a haste exit from the room, vowing never EVER to wee again.

I've had to call in Hubby's services on occasion to get rid of a Huntsman on our wall. His method is the old empty ice cream container over the top, with a piece of paper slid underneath, captured and then dumped back in to the garden. I've tried it, but couldn't even get the container over the spider without hyperventilating. I prefer the high pressured vacuum cleaner method myself.

Ssssuuuuuck! Gone.

And there was the one time, in our old apartment, that Hubby humanely removed the visiting Huntsman with his container one evening, taking it down three levels to release it in to the garden, only to find it BACK in the EXACT SAME SPOT it was captured from the night before! Well, ok, I can't prove it was the exact same spider. But really, what are the chances of that happening? I think the spider was messing with my mind. But I won. I used the vacuum cleaner that time. Take that Huntsman.

One time, I collected the mail from my letterbox, and found a bunch of store catalogues amongst them. I arranged them on my lap, and slowly flicked through each one, leaving my favourite until last. The Target catalogue. I took my time, relishing each page, making a mental note of all I needed to buy in their latest sale. And then, as I turned over the last page, sitting on the back was the biggest, hairiest, scariest HUNTSMAN SPIDER I had ever seen!!!

I THREW the catalogue high in to the air, leaping up as I did, and screaming for good measure. Then I ran around the house, shaking up my hair in case it had landed in it, and throwing off all my clothes until I was down to my bras and knickers. I then fetched the vacuum cleaner, determined to get rid of the lap dancing Huntsman.

As I positioned myself, having finally located the pest behind the couch, Hubby walked in. He smiled. A sort of, "Alriiiiight. I'm gettin' me some action" kind of smile. Until I threw him a look of despair, and in an incredibly abridged version of the events that had just occurred (because time was of the essence), explained what had happened. Hubby took over. I insisted he suck the little bugger up. And this time, he obliged.

Note to all Huntsman Spiders: Don't mess with me. Me, and the vacuum, are at the ready.

Until next time...
Jodie

13 comments:

Make do mum said...

Those things scare the life out of me. A friend in Sydney had one that lived behind a socket in his bathroom, you'd just see the odd leg poking out :(

Emlykd said...

Great post Jodie! You write in a way that transports me into your world!

Thea Smith said...

That is hilarious!!! I have a fabulous mental picture of you flailing around the room screaming, hehehehe ;)
My nasty experience with a huntsman was in the shower. I always fling the towel over the top of the shower wall & when I was drying myself I felt something scratchy, thought it was sticky tape (why sticky tape I do no know??) but no, it was a huntsman...on naked me!! Oh yeah, I screamed and jumped and did pretty much the same moves as you.

TheMadHouse said...

I am so glad that we live in the frozen UK!!

MegsyJ said...

That is hilarious. But I have chills running down my spine just thinking of those spiders - YUCK!

Brenda@mummytime said...

Eeekkk!!! Spiders, I tell you they are the work of Lucifer. For real! Hehehe...

Ami said...

Hahahaha!! Great post! We had one on the stairs the other night that our puppy was desparately trying to catch. I was desperately trying to catch Jack (dog) who now weights 19kg and is tricky to pick up, while yelling out to Hubby to come help.

He thought it was funny, clearly I didn't and didn't want Jack eating it! Eventually I got Jack although I think he's now traumatised at me trying to carry him up the stairs and like your Hubby, Jodie, my Hubby caught the spider and put him outside. I much prefer the suck and die spider method too!

Jessica said...

I can understand being nice to dogs, but spiders? Not so much

Holly Homemaker said...

Ahhh, I got shivers when I read about your run-in with the spider and the Target catalogue. Eeeeek!

www.tarynrucci.blogspot.com said...

hahaha Jodie! That is like at our house when I grab the catalogues out of the mailbox... except it's cockroaches that leap out at you just when you want to sit down, relax and enjoy that junk mail! Taryn x

Nomie said...

I walk around the house constantly checking.. walls, ceilings... like I'm on a surveillance mission. I look under mine & hubs pillow every night before I go to bed... we have some hight ceilings, in our bedroom double height... and I have a sixth sense about them. HUbby has been woken on countless nights because I wake up, out on the bed side light & spy one! They Freak. Me. Out. I too have done the scream, strip and run... in front of friends... I have never lived it down! Ick...

http://www.thetamom.com said...

OMG, spiders freak me out! And how much do I wish it was summertime right now??? This cold weather is CRAZY! And thanks so much for stopping by Theta Mom! Glad you did becasue now I know where I can find you! Look forward to bloggin with you! :)

Aussie-waffler said...

I quite like living in Qld, I truly do, but they like to grow things big around these parts...REAL big, and that of course includes the huntsmans. We now have an official spider catching container (I think it was once used for getting the water off salads, or some such nonsense) and although The Coach doesn't like them much more then me, he has a manly reputation to maintain in front of the kiddies, bah ha ha.