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Friday, February 12, 2010

Valentines, Schmalentines

Hubby and I don't "do" Valentine's Day. Haven't in years. It's not that we don't welcome a little romance from time to time, it's just that it's so....scheduled.

Hubby and I started seeing each other on 19 February 1993. That's when we shared our first kiss. For years, I denied that I was the first to steal a smacker. But it's true. It was me. There you go - I've FINALLY admitted to it. (Quite frankly, if I'd waited for Hubby to make the first move, we'd still be sitting here smiling shyly at each other.)

5 days before that first kiss, on Valentine's Day, we sat in a beer garden, joking with each other (as was the way our conversations always went). I asked what he'd bought me for Valentine's Day? "This," he announced, holding up a single blade of grass.

"You are so romantic," I said, a hint of sarcasm in my voice. "I bet all the girls are lining up to date you."

"Yep," he replied, and laughed.

By the following Valentine's Day, we were in fully fledged love-fest mode. I made up a basket of goodies for Hubby. It included everything cliched and typical of such a gift for such an occasion. Chocolates, a balloon and even, embarrassingly, a pair of silky, printed boxer shorts, with love hearts or the like on them. And YES, I had it sent to his work. He sent me a dozen, long stemmed red roses. I loved them.

You see, up until I started seeing Hubby, I had always looked forward to the day when I would be the one dating someone on Valentine's Day, and I would be the one that went home with the flowers, instead of being the one watching everyone else struggle to get their bunch of helium filled balloons in to the car, or carry their flowers down the street.

And yes, I had had a couple of Valentines surprises before I met Hubby, but from no one particularly special. That first Valentine's Day with Hubby was fantastic.

Then the following year, I was at work, and waiting for the delivery. I knew it was coming. And it did. Flowers arrived again, and once again, they were beautiful.

And whilst I could never tire of receiving flowers of any description, admittedly, by our third Valentine's Day together, it occurred to me that I wasn't particularly excited on what is supposed to be the most romantic day of the year. Because I knew what was coming. In fact, I had come to expect it.

I didn't like feeling that way. It didn't seem right. So after that, I went home to Hubby and said, "You know what? Let's not do Valentine's Day anymore. I don't like knowing that you're going to send me something. I'd rather you bought me a bunch of flowers just...whenever you felt like it."

And so that was it. We never did "do" Valentine's Day ever again. And honestly, I barely notice it's here when it does roll around each year.

However, the whole "buy me flowers whenever you feel like it" was maybe not the smartest move I've ever made. I mean yes, occasionally Hubby comes home with a bunch from the shops - just for fun - but more often than not, we're also expecting guests for dinner (they make a nice centrepiece).

And so I find myself in a very odd situation. Here me out here. I canned Valentine's Day because I didn't like that I was expecting flowers, and now I find myself thinking, 'Well, if Hubby was to buy me something on Valentine's Day this year, it would be a surprise!'

There's just no pleasing some people, is there?

Oh, and BTW - I do, however, recommend a special dinner for each other. Not necessarily on Valentine's Day - just whenever...and here's one on Mummy Mayhem's Recipe Box that might be just the thing...view here.

Until next time...


emilydam said...

hehehe! typical women type behaviour! And I LOVE IT!!! It's me too! a contradiction in terms!!!

april said...

Oh i know this too well - its almost shooting yourself in the foot as guys just don't think of it, i don't think...But I do the same thing and then wait, & wait, & wait and mope and stare pointedly at chocolate and florists and jewelers, and mope & sigh and huff and do the whol "you should know what is wrong' because I'm dissapointed because of a situation I've created.
Is it just e or are most guys just not very romantic at all, particulalry in the gift inclined way ? Please excuse spelling and typing keyboard and brain fuzz...

jessica said...

I haven't had a valentine in many years. Doesn't bother me so much now. By the end of marriage we didn't bother to celebrate and I could have cared less for obvious reasons

Thea Smith said...

Oh no, I hate that!!
The why-did-I-open-my-big-mouth symdrome.

Insomniac Mummy said...

We have a similar arrangement. We buy cards but not gifts. Occasionally one year I'll surprise him and vice versa.

A couple of year he sent me a dozen velvety red roses which was a great unexpected surprise.

Not expecting anything this year though.

Louise said...

Hey Jodie, I wonder if we'll see the Jogging Lady running around the streets on Sunday with some flowers instead of her usual jogging companion - a cabbage and a celery stick?

MegsyJ said...

Yes, we are the same. Except that after I did the 'Let's not do Valentines Day' spiel, my hubby still did it the next year. Just in case I didn't really mean it... he was covering all bases I guess! But once I convinced him that I meant every word, we stopped doing it.

And I'm happy with that.

Dawn said...

Same here too. Neither of us are romantic and it's not fair to expect the hubby to be when I am totally not! I would rather share the love all year and do random surprising things out of the prescribed commercial window!

Sarah P said...

Unfortunately Valentine's Day is also my brother's birthday so it isn't a day I can ignore. But I know what you mean. These days I barely notice it because quite frankly romance to me is him getting up in the night to put our toddler back to bed so I don't have to. But we do have a mini break planned next month so we can have romance then!

Michelle said...

Haha - cute post. We just struck a deal with some friends - we are going to alternate baby sitting and start dating our partner again - great deal because they only have 1 and we have 4 kids !!

fat mum slim said...

Cute! We'll give each other a cheesy card or something, and always have something nice for dinner {we always eat nice food anyway}. The day doesn't go unnoticed, but there are never flowers, or balloons or baskets overflowing with goodies here.

I was the same as you. On our first valentines I went out and bought Hubby something from Tiffany. It was special, and expensive... and in return, I got a hug.

I get flowers through the year, and I have a wonderful husband... so I can't complain one bit.

Happy weekend to you Jodie. xx

She is Jade said...

I'm not a huge valentines day girl myself, a nice dinner is about as far as we go.