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Sunday, October 17, 2010

The Dance of Revenge - Chapter Two, Part II

And so we continue The Dance of Revenge - the book I started writing at 14 years of age. That's my excuse for what you're about to read, anyway. 

If you haven't read any of the story so far, it's not too late. Just go down to the RHS of the homepage and click on the links. Seriously - it's gripping. You really must read. *cough*

Last week, we found out what happened to Sherrie's father, and Sherrie discovered her mother and Adam planned to fly to Switzerland. On their honeymoon...

Chapter Two
Part II

Elizabeth sat at the wooden table replaying over the past couple of days. [Presumably, she was doing this in her head, and not with a video camera or such.] She wanted so much for Sherrie to accept Adam, but no matter how much he tried to be nice she just would not welcome him nicely. Elizabeth stood up and could hear loud sobs rise and rise. She thought of going in [I presume she's talking about Sherrie's room] but decided against it. She opened the door to her own room and tiptoed in.

Adam layed [here we go again...I obviously didn't quite understand the whole lie, lay, laid thing] under the white, silky sheets on his back. His hairy chest looked suductive [or seductive] and sexy, Elizabeth thought. His eyes were closed softly. [I'm getting nervous. I feel a love scene, based on nothing I knew at age 14, coming on.] Elizabeth walked slowly over towards the double bed. Her white, silky gown flowed behind her. She sat upon the bed and leaned towards Adam. Her long, pointed finger traced down the centre of his chest down to his stomach. She rubbed her hand around and around until he awoke with a smile. [Ah, 'around and around' his stomach, people!]

"Liz!" he exclaimed. "Come to me." He entwined his arms around her waist and she wasted no time obeying him. [Oh, Mills & Boon - eat your heart out.] She hugged him tightly and rested her head on his shoulder. 

Adam ran his hands through her hair and kissed the top of her head. His hands caressed her neck as he began to kiss her passionately. [I'm assuming he was kissing her lips by now. Not the top of her head still, because that would be awkward. No?] She responded enthusiastically, and soon they had made love and rested back in the bed. Adam took a cigar from the box near the bed and lit it. [Just keep those cliches coming!] He smoked the cigar and when finished, pulled Elizabeth back towards him, but this time she did not encourage him.

"What the matter?" he hissed. Elizabeth shrugged.

"I'm just too tired darling." She turned over and lay on her side. 

"Too tired?" he complained. She nodded. 

"Yes." She turned to look at his angry face. She laughed. "Oh come on, darling. Two times in one night is more than enough," she joked teasingly. [Joked or teased...one would have been fine.] "Plus, look at the time." 

The clock read 3.35am. Adam agreed reluctantly. 

"All right. Let us sleep then." He kissed her one more time and then rolled over on to his side. Elizabeth sighed with warmth [huh?] at the sight of his body next to hers. She began to feel wanted. [Oh, good Lord.]

"Adam?" she whispered. He turned towards her. 

"What is it my love?" She began to kiss him wildly. Once again, they made love.

Okaaaay....so stay tuned next week for Part III of Chapter Two! 



x0xJ said...

You do pretty well for 14 and not having a sex life of your own!

Katie said...

I loooove your comments! They had me rolling today!

Thea Smith said...

Hehehehehe, cigar, hehehehehehehe!!!
This is so good, Jodie.

Francesca said...

@Jodie: This is my first time reading this and I have to say that this is a bit intriguing, in a very good way! For sure I will be reading Part III and the ones after that! I am definitely hooked! Thanks for sharing this post! Would it be possible to actually post more than one part (just to make readers like me be more "hooked"--just a thought!) :)

alnmum said...

I don't know whether this says more about me than you Jodie, but I am completely hooked and sit and giggle my way through every installment. I'm off now to have a good 'layed'down! ;)

Jodie at Mummy Mayhem said...

So glad you're enjoying, Francesca! If you look at my homepage and scroll down the RHS column, you'll find the previous parts/chapters you can read. Just look for the pink ballet slippers! ;)