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Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Stuff 40yr old Women REALLY Shouldn't Do

It's time for the mind to catch up with the body a little, I think.

I may be 40 years old now, but my mind would like to beg to differ. Mentally, I'm still in my 20s. (My husband might argue this though, seeing that I can be somewhat forgetful at times.) In any case, I still feel like I can do whatever I want to do, and I often forget that even though I might feel like I can keep up with someone half my age, the reality is I am living in a 40yr old's body. 

A few weeks ago, I climbed on to our new trampoline we bought recently for the boys to give it a bit of a whirl myself, and I thought nothing of it. Sure, I hadn't jumped on one since I was about, let's see, 17, but I figured it'd be like riding a bike. A cinch. Anyway, I started bouncing and something happened instantly: I needed to wee. BIG time. Before that moment when I made my first jump, I didn't feel in the slightest bit that I needed to use the little ladies room. 

'Of course,' I thought. 'I've given birth to three children. Duh.' 

I gave birth naturally (actually, I usually refer to it as the 'v' word rather than 'naturally' - but I just can't seem to bring myself to write that on my blog. Sorry!) to all my three boys. When the midwife measured my 8yr old's head after his birth, the first thing she said was, "WHOA! We've hit the top end of the scale here." Great. My 3yr old was a big-ish baby. After his birth, the OB/Gyn said, "Get this kid on the scales. I want to see how much he weighs!" 4.46 kilos was the weight. That's 9 pounds, 13 ounces in old terms. Let's just say that when pushing him out, I burst a bunch of blood vessels in my face doing so, and felt like my head was going to explode with the intensity of each push. Nice. 

So is it any wonder that when I started jumping I needed to head to the bathroom promptly? Not to mention that my neck started to play up just after I hopped off the trampoline - to make my way to the conveniences - from all the jolting movements I hadn't experienced in so long. 

You would think this would be a little warning that I'm probably just not able to do the things I used to do over 20 years ago, right? Of course. Any sane and sensible person would think so.

So, why on earth did I decide the other day that it would be a great idea to try - of all things - a hand stand in my kitchen? Yes, you read that correctly. A hand stand, people! What the hell was I thinking? 

I didn't even get my legs the whole way up before I felt the pull in my back and neck and the extra weight on my arms that I just didn't have when I was a 10 year old in my calisthenics class back in the 70s.

I don't want to get to 40 and think: 'That's it. Life's over. It's all downhill from here,' because I just don't believe that. My Dad, for example, has always kept very physically active, and is only just now starting to slow down at the age of 85. I don't want to suddenly stop using my body. Of course not. But I think it's time I took note of my limitations. And maybe finally book in to that yoga class I've been talking about doing for so long now and get a little more flexible again, huh?

Anything else you think I should avoid?

How about you? What have you found you just can't do as the years have gone by? Even if you're in your 20s - is there anything you used to do as a kid you wish you could do now, but can't?



JANE said...

You crack me up, Jodie. I am the 40 year old mother of three under five. I have been known to attempt the occasional headstand (in classic understated show-off style) to the pixies. But no, no trampoline.Yet.There are some places a 40-year-old-mother-of-three should fear to tread! J x

Sparkly Tiara said...

You made it to the bathroom? You're doing fine, love.

Here is my list of things not to attempt over the age of 40:

1. High heels combined with wine and a casino = unceremoniously thrown out of casino, taxi ride to ED and 6 weeks on crutches.

2. Scooters. Coxycx (sp?) meets cement floor. 3 weeks of not sitting comfortably.

3. Pogo Stick. See Scooters

4. Tramplolines - fell out through hole in netting, landed flat on back. Unable to speak, breath or do anything but vomit all over myself. Result - another trip to ED, 4 hours on IV morphine (w00t) and 3 weeks of uselessness.

5. Jogging, running, skipping, sneezing, coughing or lol-ing too hard. Can you say Tena-lady?

Am thinking of cancelling my upcoming base-jumping weekend.


Tammy said...

Well after 2 children and and include 2 sets of twins and also include 2 c-sections I have a beautiful "verandah" that stops me from running and wearing nice slim clothing .....

So no jogging or skipping here either!!!

love your posts though!!!

MomAgain@40 said...

The hand stands crack me up! LOL
I also think I can still run like lightning, until I started to run with the kids at school... Forget it! I gave up after the first 20 metres!

Wanderlust said...

Roller skates and sommersaults. Just don't go there. Seriouisly.

And I think you're very brave for attempting a hand stand. I would be in traction!

Wanderlust said...

Oh, and congrats on being a "Voice of the Year" at ABC. Woot woot!! Well deserved.

Lorraine The Party Times said...

made me laugh as I have just booked myself onto a 6 week bootcamp type course that involves lots of trampolining and hadn't even crossed my mind...but yes after 2 children - could be interesting!!!

Thea said...

I must have pelvic floor muscles of steel, because I've never had 'that' problem and I'm fine on the trampoline. But as much as it pains me to say...it's all downhill after 40! lol

Katie said...

Carnival rides.
I used to be able to withstand ungodly amounts of bouncing, spinning, flying, screaming, up-side-down carnival rides.
Now just looking at them turns my stomach.
I hate that.

Anonymous said...

i think the worst thing is that you can't cope as well anymore after making the night through. i used to be a total night person and now i need 3 days to recover! could be because, actually, in the last 5 years i would have slept out maybe 3 times.. boy-alarm clock never fails..

Aussie-waffler said...

I used to love horse riding. Then I decided to lift a concrete lid on the water tank, threw something out in my back which has never fully recovered, and now I can't ride anymore. I don't know whether that falls under the 'stupid' or 'old age' banner, but either way it's something I really miss from when I was younger.

Fiona said...

Hun, I have issues with jumping, weak pelvic floors, and urine... and I've not had kids. I'm gonna be screwed :\

x0xJ said...

Oh Jodie this post makes me sad. Very sad. You are just 40? Well i am young, not even 25 yet and i struggle with both of these.
I don;t think it's time that ages us, but having children. The sleepless nights, the labour and pregancies, they take their toll on your body and while i like you feel fine, i mean really i'm hardly out of my teens i should still be able to do this stuff, my body is that of an old womans.
I'm still alright with flexibility and strength, i mean they could be better if i worked out and looked after my body, but they're alright, i'd say average for people my age, but my muscles and joints don't work quite the same. I get hurt more easily and it leaves a bigger mark than it once would have.

Still i commend you for giving it a go! A handstand? So random, but tells us that you're definately one of those fun mum's!

River said...

Oh, the things I could do when I was younger! Running, swimming, twirling a hula hoop, dancing jazz ballet style except I never could do the splits or backflips, climbing trees, and I'm talking about my 30's. Just in the last ten years, I've become so stiff and unfit, I can barely get out of bed some days. Ha Ha.
I used to think I had a weak bladder/pelvic floor too, but it turns out I'm fine if I don't drink coffee, unless I've had a sneezing fit from the hayfever.

Maxabella said...

Yoga class? I'm thinking gymnastics might be more your thing... x

PinkPatentMaryJanes said...

Cartwheels. May I strongly recommend that you don't attempt one of those babies...

dramaqueen said...

I was a pretty good skateboarder in my memory. I was a bit of a tom boy and had a yellow, fiberglass plank i used to ride around the neighbourhood. A few years ago I was at a barbecue and one of the kids had a skateboard - a few glasses of champagne knocked off my commonsense and I thought I would give it a go. My ego was quickly broken and my dignity disappeared!

Anonymous said...

I'd put backward somersaults on your list if you haven't already. And I HATE trampolines, they scare the bejesus out of me for some reason.

NerdyAussieMum said...

Yup Trampolines are a no go for me either. So is trying to do "the caterpiller" or wear bikinis at almost 30 and 2 kids down. I also can't stay up drinking until 5am in the morning either (last 2 years running I fell asleep before 2 on New Years!)
I also used to be a bit of a dare devil and now the idea that I might get hurt and not be there for my kids stops me from doing alot too!
Hmmm wonder what I'll be avoiding when I've had my two more????
What ever the changes are tho I'm still darn happy to make them. Bring on my Granny days where I'm terrorising young whipper snappers on my granny scooter, visiting my big passel of grandkids and travelling for "retirement"!