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Sunday, January 23, 2011

The Dance of Revenge - Chapter Eight, Part II

It's Sunday. Time for another instalment of The Dance of Revenge

You may recall last week that Adam and Elizabeth received the news that Sherrie had been on a train that had derailed, and was missing - thought injured or dead. Adam, leaving Elizabeth at home with a friend, had driven to the scene of the accident and eventually located Sherrie's badly burnt body - with the only recognisable feature being her ring - and was about to do something rather despicable in his attempt to hide Sherrie's identity.

Intrigued? Well...don't waste another second. Read on!

As always, my comments to my 14yr old self's writing will be written [in red in brackets like this].

Chapter Eight - Part II

Adam looked again at the ring on Sherrie's finger. He wouldn't have known it was her if he hadn't noticed the ring. If he claimed that none of these girls were Sherrie, then he could say that she must of [have] been swept down the river. Therefore, no more money problems! [Ok, one small problem here. What if Sherrie woke and, like, TOLD people who she was? Did you think of that, Jodie Adam?] He almost shouted for joy as his idea began to look realistic as he slipped the ring from Sherrie's finger. He pushed it in to his pocket and looked one more time at the body of Sherrie. Her face was horribly mutilated and so was her body. [Ok. Obviously I wasn't in to the subtlety of writing such a description of a person's body having sustained injuries from a fire. I'm so sorry. What can I say? I was FOURTEEN!] She was unconscious and Adam could see a bump on the side of her head. He turned away from her body and cringed with horror. She had once been a beautiful girl [like, that morning, Adam], but now all she was was an outcast of pure ugliness. In a way, Adam felt sorry for the girl, but he quickly pushed the thought away. He had no time to feel sorry for someone who could have ruined his financial status. 

In less than five minutes he had found the officer who he had spoken with before. 

"No luck?" the officer asked gently. 

"No. I want a search party for the people who are in the river. Can that be arranged?" Adam asked, shakily. 

"Mr Brair, we're really doing the best we can. [Ok, get ready for a bit of a laugh here. I was going for serious, but...] We already have people scooba diving [as in Scooby Doo?] in the river under way and people using [wait for it] pokers to find any bodies. [Pokers? Obviously I had no idea of the technical term for such instruments. Actually, I still don't, but I'm pretty sure they're not called 'pokers'.] I know this is hard for you [well, I would suspect it would be when you tell people you're using POKERS to find their relatives!], but please, the best thing is to go home and just relax. [Oh, sure. Let's all relax with the knowledge that POKERS are being used to locate our loved ones!] If anything turns up [you mean, using the POKERS, right?] we'll call. Alright?" Adam nodded slowly. 

"Is there anything I can do?" he asked softly.

"Look, Mr Brair, if you want something to do, just go home and relax. We're really busy here. [Nice.] I'm sorry. [You should be.] Really sorry. [I should think so.] I'm sure we'll find your girl." He excused himself in french and then left. 

Adam pretended to look sad as he walked to his car. When he was safely inside, and at least a kilometre away from the site, he let out a whoop of joy and put his foot down on the pedal. 

*     *     *     *     *

Elizabeth heard Adam's car pull in to the driveway and hurried outside to meet him, with Julie at her feet. 

"Adam? Where is she, honey? Is she alright? Where's ma chere?" She collapsed into his arms and he silently stroked her hair. 

"Come on, Liz. Let's go inside and talk." Elizabeth followed and so did Julie. 

"Should I stay?" Julie asked anxiously. Elizabeth didn't want her to stay right now. She needed Adam. 

"No, no Julie," replied Adam. "She'll be alright with me. Thanks." Julie greeted Elizabeth goodbye and said something in french under breath, then left. 

"Liz, I looked everywhere. Bodies were everywhere, but no Sherrie. I'm sorry, Liz, but it looks as though she went into the river. A fisherman found this when he was scooba diving for lost bodies." [Ok, firstly, it's scuba diving. Secondly, why is a 'fisherman' diving for the bodies?!] Elizabeth looked into her husband's hand to see Sherrie's favourite ring that her grandmother had given her. 

"Oh my God," she whispered. "Non, non, non. Non, ma cherie. Oh, Sherrie!" Her crying and screaming filled the empty house. 

"NON! Not ma cherie!" Her screaming could not be stopped by Adam. Finally, he could not control her at all so he slapped her hard across her left cheek. Elizabeth stopped and looked at him. Her mouth was slightly open and a frown traced across her eyes. [Not sure how that works, but anyhoo...] Then she collapsed against his broad shoulders and cryed [there's that old problem with the 'ie' thing again] softly whilst Adam stroked her hair with his hand. He kissed her cheek and every tear that fell from her eyes. Elizabeth was touched by his warmth. He would help her. She knew it. 

"I won't lay down unless you're there, Adam. I need you. Please come lay down with me." And so he did. They did not speak. They did not sleep. Their hands clenched tightly together brought them together for now. 

Well. There you go. The end of Chapter Eight. What a doozy that one was.

Next week, Sherrie wakes to find herself in hospital. Does she recall what happened, where she is and - more importantly - who she is? Find out next week.

Enjoy your Sunday.

1 comment:

bronnie said...

Hahaha ... Scooba divers and pokers. Love it!