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Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Then she died, and she left a majority of her estate to my colleague's brother. Why? Well, because my colleague's brother had not quite reached the same level of success that he had. He had drifted through life, never really finding his 'thing', and his mother worried about him. As my colleague explained to me, "She would have felt he needed the money more than I did, because she probably figured I already had what I needed. Even though it was my money she left him. It upsets me, because I worked hard for that money."
You can understand his frustration, right? He graciously shared his earnings with a loved one who then passed it on to someone else who didn't do anything to deserve it. Frustrating, to say the least.
If there's one thing I'm always concerned about, it's whether I'm treating my children fairly.
Although the following situation is not the same, the concept is.
Apart from the odd occasion, the 7yr old is, for the most part, a fairly 'easy' child. He's quite relaxed and cruises through life a bit, not worrying about much. Therefore, he doesn't often require any 'additional' attention that is sometimes given to his brothers. He doesn't complain much. He's far more compliant about things than his brothers are. Therefore, I believe we sometimes (unintentionally) give him less.
For example, say I had three hot cross buns, and one of them was substantially smaller than the others. To be honest, I'd probably give it to the 7yr old, because I know that: a) if the 4yr old notices his is smaller, he'll more than likely throw a HUGE tantrum; b) the 9yr old would complain he needs more food because he's "bigger", and generally has a larger appetite; and c) it's highly unlikely the 7yr old would notice anyway. Or care too much.
But does that make it ok that he misses out? No. Not at all.
I am constantly reminding myself to reward the 7yr old with praise for his good behaviour. To let him decide what tv show he and his brothers will watch. To give him the first choice of the hot cross buns.
After all, it's only fair.
If you have kids, do you struggle to play fair with them? Is there one child that gets less because they don't demand more? How do you make sure all your kids get a fair deal? Were you treated fairly as a kid?
~ Image ~