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Thursday, March 31, 2011

The Night Time Nappy

Last year I set about toilet training the 4yr old. 

A lot of people find toilet training tough work. It's not easy, but it can be a far simpler process if you take your time with it. Trying to get a child to forego nappies before they're ready means more accidents, more frustration and more tears (most of them coming from you). That's my humble opinion anyway. (There's a great little video on toilet training that I was involved in over at Kleenex Mums. You can watch stories from 'the inhabitants', on the 'survival' and 'escape' from 'Poo Poo Island'. Fun stuff!)

Anyway, I waited until all my boys were three before I even thought about toilet training, and that worked pretty well for me (and the kids).

It was exciting when the 4yr old finally 'got it'. After more than eight years of daily nappy changes, I finally waved goodbye to them. Except for the night nappy, that is.

Kids almost always take longer to train at night. It's not unusual for kids to be five or six before they're consistently dry in the morning. Some are older than that. Each child is different.

With the night time nappy, I've always moved on to pull-ups. That way, as soon as they get up in the morning, they can easily go to the toilet as if they had underwear on, and I would re-use a dry Pull-up a second night before binning it. After all, they've only worn it for less than 12 hours, so why not? And the 4yr old seemed to be going well. We were getting dry pull-ups regularly.

Then the cooler weather set in.

This week, I've changed his sheets three times already, caused by a leaking pull-up (and no doubt a chill because he keeps kicking his doona off), and it's now I have to resign myself to going back to nappies at night for the time being. I just can't afford to be washing sheets and pyjamas every day, as well as trying to shower my son in the darkness of the early hours of the morning. (He refuses to let me put the light on, because his 'eyes hurt'! Sigh.)

Not that nappies will affect me directly. It's not extra work for me. It's more about 'going backwards'. No one likes to go backwards when teaching their children anything. I think that's partly because we settle in to a new routine; a new way of doing things, and partly because once you've leapt over a set of hurdles and ran over the finishing line, you don't want to go back and run the race all over again.

Yet, I know, it won't last forever and it's not the end of the world. He is, after all, only four.

Going with the (wee wee) flow. That's all I can do.

Have you toilet trained your kids? How old were they when they came out of a night nappy? Did you use pull-ups of nappies?


Image: We Heart It


Dorothy said...

My older son was still wearing a night nappy when in Prep. I think he might have bee around six when his body finally worked out how to stay dry at night.

My youngest is nearly 5 and still refuses to poo in the toilet. I've tried all the strategies and still nothing. If I don't put a nappy on him at night, he stays up and keeps coming out of his room for hours. He will sit on the toilet and "try" and nothing. And then in the morning, when he gets up he will poo in his nappy.

Really sick of it. But don't know what to do. I'm told it's a control issue with him and I should let him be, but am really sick of pooey nappies. I guess I need to get up early in the mornings and get to him as soon as he wakes up...

Aspiring Millionaire said...

I was so lucky with my eldest. She is 3 and 1/2 and she just got it so quickly. She was toilet trained at just over 2 and nighttime was done over 6 months ago. She was so easy and ready.

I am just starting on my 2nd daughter, but she is not as interested as my other one, so I am not pushing it. She is just over 2.

I hate nappies with a passion and want them out of my life asap, but don't want to pressure my daughters.

I know in my family we were all older than my kids are.

I am just so grateful my eldest did so well.

Good luck, I have no real advice, as I have not had any trouble, but am sure my 2 year old will be the opposite to the 3yr old.

Zoey @ Good Goog said...

I know what you mean about going backwards! When I first started toilet training with Riley after about a week I knew she was pretty ready because she was having dry nappies in the morning and after a nap. Since then, although she is trained during the day and only occasionally has accidents, the nap and nighttime nappies have gone back to being pretty wet.

Mainly I'd love for her to stay dry for her nap because putting a nappy on her after she's crashed out on the couch is not the easiest thing in the world!

Amy said...

Hi Jodie,
So glad to hear that you started toilet training at 3. My son is 2 1/2 and there is mounting pressure from all sides that he should already be toilet trained! Aside from letting him go in the potty before his bath every night, I've not started toilet training at all and I don't really want to! Playgroup kids are almost all trained already but I just don't feel he's ready yet so I've not done it. Glad to have your "permission" to wait another few months! Phew!
Good luck with the night time situation. It will sort itself out eventually. Well done to you for being patient.

Stacey said...

Hi just found your blog! Love it!
My daughters were night trained at about 4yrs and 3yrs and my sons 3 in July ad been night trained for about 6 months now! Definitely depends on the child. We did no pull ups. We always took them for a wee before we went to bed at about 11pm and after about 3 months of that we stopped! We very rarely have accidents. But when we do it's almost always 2 out of the 3 that will have an accident the same night! DON'T call me for a coffee on that day,just a warning!! Lol!


Jodie at Mummy Mayhem said...

Dorothy - I suppose then you've already tried making your son do his poo in his nappy IN the bathroom? My eldest always chose a corner of the family room to do his, and it was suggested I try making him do it in the bathroom. (I was putting on nappies for him to poo only.) Then after a couple of days of doing that, when he was busting to poo, I made him sit on the toilet and out it came. Never went back. But, like anything, might not work for your child! All different, little buggers. :( Hope it gets sorted soon.

Zoey - I'm hearin' ya! My youngest has always been a big 'wee-er'. When he was in nappies, I would always change his nappy just before I went to bed, because I knew if I didn't, it would leak by morning time. *sigh*

Amy - there is definite pressure when your kids reach 2 to toilet train. Even my daycare wanted to start the youngest when he was just over 2. I told them firmly they were not to try training him, because I just knew he wasn't ready. Sure enough, when I saw he showed interest and felt he now understood the concept, I commenced and it was all done pretty quickly. Stick to your guns. Three is more than fine to start training!

Stacey - Thank you and I'm SO glad you found me! We've been pretty fortunate with little accidents at night, but I have a friend with 3 kids who said one week she was up almost every night because at least one of them had wet the bed! Ah, life as parent. Fun stuff. ;)

Good Golly Miss Holly! said...

We are in the middle of TT'ing. After 8 months of fabulous days spent in undies and using the 'turrrlet', Miss 3 has gone backwards and insists on wee'ing in a nappy. Sigh.

Good luck with the night time training, I'm sure it will go smoothly x

Miss Pink said...

Oh such a long story for me!
Bluey was comepletey out of nappies by 2 and a half. Night time, nap time, you name it.
The problem with kids wetting the bed isn't really when they are asleep, it's when they wake up. We had a month of dry nights with Bluey before i ditched the night time nappy altogether. He slept naked from the waist down and i had the potty in his room near his bed for quick access. I think since ditching the night time nappy he's wet the bed twice? So we had zero trouble with him at all.
Greenie is toilet training atm. I'm not a fan of winter toilet training (hence why bluey wasn't out of nappies sooner), but he is very very ready. Night time and nap time i won't even look at for a while, and Greenie does need a nappy on when we are out and about, but when we're at home he is naked from the waist down and tells me when he needs to go. He's been doing that for quite some time actually (since he was about 20 months?).
However, this is where i big thing comes into play, cloth diapering vs. disposable diapering.
Cloth nappies DO help a child out in the toilet training area, as they are aware they're wet from a younger age so they identify feeling the need to go to the toilet and then suddenly they're wet and thus they learn that that feeling like they need to go means they're going to. Both my boys are cloth diapered.
So i really think that does make a huge difference.
Or maybe it's just my attitude towards it? Bluey never had a sticker chart or any rewards and happily did it, Greenie gets a stamp if he goes but sometimes doesn't care for it (i only give him one if he asks after he's gone in the toilet).

3pmPimms said...

Hi Jodie as you know all my kids did it differently. No1 pretty straight forward 'normal' experience would hold on to his poo a bit but eventually got over it finally night trained about 4. No2 god bless him refused to wear undies before he was 3 and on his 3rd birthday undies on and only 2-3 accidents and night trained within a few weeks. Gorgeous Miss3 day trained about 2 1/2 but still very wet at night and is 6 1/2 so what do you do!!!??? nearly time to investigate further with her but she has 2 cousins who where 7 and 8 when finally dry at night so not to concerned. Love your work as always XXJ

Jodie at Mummy Mayhem said...

Miss Pink - I never bothered with the sticker chart thing either. We just did the 'Oh, yay! You went wee-wee in the toilet!' and offered an incentive (ie toy) for the no2s in the toilet!

3pmPimms - Yup - they are all diff, aren't they? I'd say the 6 1/2 may just be like her cousins. When I was 6 or 7, I had a girlfriend who used to sleep over on occasion, and she wet the bed a couple of times. But I think by about 8 that was over. (Can't remember exactly - that was a LONG time ago!) And you're right - Miss3 is GORGEOUS! As are you. x

bigwords is... said...

My eldest Miss 4 has a consistently wet pull-up in the morning. I reckon when she's ready she'll go to the next stage. Our middle child is 2 and a half and is showing absolutely no interest in toilet training. Will try when she is 3. Kids are fickle. One thing I've worked out is they will do it in their own time.

The day there are no nappies in our house will be great (but also a little sad!).

Good luck x

Corinne – Daze of My Life said...

This is a timely post as it's something we're dealing with at the moment.

I waited until both my kids were ready to TT, I never pushed it at all. At around 2.5 years they were both keen and there were zero problems. They both went into undies had very few accidents and it was quite painless.

Night-time is another story. 4yo has never woken with a dry nappy, ever. I have suggested she try undies at night and she freaks out.

2.5yo has a dry nappy every morning and takes herself off to the toilet, removes nappy and goes. So, I'm certain she's completely ready.

The conundrum is, do I night train both at the same time? I don't want to rock 4yo's confidence my little sister beating her out of nappies, but on the other hand I don't want to miss this opportunity with the 2yo.

Jacki said...

Jodie - I'm so glad you wrote this post! I've been concerned that my almost 3 year old son is showing ZERO signs of readiness to begin toilet training. I guess I'll just keep waiting for those elusive signals!

Donna said...

Such a timely post - e are on the toilet training ride at present and FINALLY showing signs of success after a bumpy start.

I'll admit I felt the pressure to start when the boy hit 2.5, and probably wasnt quite ready. He's getting the hang of it (despite often protesting he wants a nappy on!) but night time dryness is light years away - Poor kid wakes up in a heavy wet pull up every morning!

Jodie at Mummy Mayhem said...

bigwords is - Yup. Kids sure ARE fickle! Sounds like you're pretty relaxed about the whole thing though, and I reckon that's the key.

Corinne - Yeah, that's a tough one. I think if it was me, I'd probably take the youngest out of her nappy, but sit down and explain to your eldest that this is something every one is different with. It's definitely nothing she is doing wrong, and ensure her it will happen for her eventually. No big deal. (I mean, she's 4, so she might get a bit upset.)

And with the youngest, when her nappy comes off at night, I would just keep it low. A quiet, "Oh, yay for you!" on the sly will work wonders for her, but save your eldest that feeling of 'Why can't I?' Also, keeping it quiet means the youngest probably won't get all, "I'm more clever than you!" about it. ;)

I think incentives for doing wee or poo in the toilet can work wonders, but I just don't think you can give much incentive for staying dry at night. Yes - some might be being lazy (waking, but not bothering to go to the toilet), but I'm quite sure many just aren't waking and it's happening regardless. But I'm no expert!

Tough call! Good luck. x

Jacki - you'll know. He might start asking to use the toilet, or sometimes you notice that they stop and think about doing a wee - even announce it. "I'm doing a wee!" - time to try the toilet!

Donna - Like I said above, I def felt there was pressure at the 4yo's daycare, which they didn't really do when my eldest kids were there. I think it was more for their benefit - less nappies! Also, sometimes people think kids who toilet train are 'clever', which is why often grandparents etc suggest it. Ignore. And as you can see - many kids are much older before getting the night time thing! :) x

Jodie at Mummy Mayhem said...

Sorry Good Golly Miss HOlly! Missed your comment.

*sigh* The whole going backwards thing is so frustrating, but I guess we can assure ourselves our kids won't be 18 and still using nappies! ;)

Thank you! x

Sam-O said...

The Little Man (4 1/2) has been daytime dry for well over a year now. Yay!

Nights are another story I'm afraid. I doubt we'll be rid of Good Nights anytime soon. :(

In fact I expect my Munchkin (19months) may beat him to nappy free nights.

River said...

I agree with Miss Pink on the cloth nappy issue. All mine were babies before disposable nappies became the "big thing" and I think it really helped with connecting the feeling with the wetness. All four were day trained between two and two and a half, with the older two being night trained as well then. The younger two inherited the bedwetting gene and wet their beds until around eight. But I had plastic mattress protectors on their beds and just washed sheets and pyjamas daily.

Doodah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Doodah said...

My daughter stopped wearing a night-time nappy around the time she turned 4. I kept asking her if she wanted to go to bed without one, then I let it go and one day she told me that she didn't want to wear a nappy to bed anymore, hallelujah! A couple of accidents, but you expect that.

My son is 3 and toilet trained but I haven't even thought about the night-time nappy coming off for him.

I choose to use nappy pants - I think they hold more, lol.

Thea said...

It's not going backwards, it's just part of the process. Like you said, it won't last forever.

I'm in the same boat. Miss 3 is now dry every night (pretty much) and is out of night nappies...but not my 6yo boy. He's very wet, every single night. And sometimes the pull-ups leak and I have to wash everything as well.

I agree with you, it's much easier to wait until they're ready. Mine were both 3 for day time toileting as well. And as for night-time pull-ups for my boy, I'm just riding it out. Surely he'll get it before he's 21!! Overnight school camps are my worry, I think they have one next year, I'm not sure he'll be out of it by then. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.......