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Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Write on Wednesdays - The Mighty Mighty Rewrite

This week, for Write on Wednesdays, with InkPaperPen, we have to choose the first paragraph of our favourite book, then rewrite the paragraph with our own content.

Okay...wish me luck!

Firstly, it was tricky choosing a fave book. I have a few that I absolutely adore. There are not many books at all that I would re-read (I barely have time to read them the first time!), but there are three books I will read again. Some day...

The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald
Girl With a Pearl Earring, Tracy Chevalier
Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte

I chose the last of the three in the end.

Here's the first paragraph of the magnificently crafted Jane Eyre:

There was no possibility of taking a walk that day. We had been wandering, indeed, in the leafless shrubbery an hour in the morning; but since dinner (Mrs Reed, when there was no company, dined early) the cold winter wind had brought with it clouds so sombre, and a rain so penetrating, that further outdoor exercise was now out of the question.

Here's my rewrite, using my ongoing story with Kate and Cassie:

Cassie had already decided she couldn't run later at lunch today. Sitting at her desk, she peered past the row of  workers towards the floor-to-ceiling glass windows, and lifted her head to take a look outside.  On days like this, when the humidity was high and the sun's rays permeated the skin even in the early hours of the morning, there was no chance of any outside exercise taking place just after noon. In fact, the only place Cassie could see herself at one o'clock was sitting at her desk; a hastily purchased chicken salad before her, and her latest juicy Lisa Heidke novel clutched eagerly in her hand.

To join in with WoW, or to simply read some other WoW entries, head over to InkPaperPen!



Melissa said...

Great rewrite :) Love how you got the essence of not going outside and modernised it into your current story.

Anne said...

Great choice Jodie. Another one of my favourites too. I was wondering if you were going to incorporate Kate and Cassie into this week's exercise. Great job. (Looking forward to seeing Leonardo DiC's take on The Great Gatsby. Don't think you could go past Robert Redford's interpretation, do you?)

Anne xx

K.D.Storm said...

You did an awesome job. Glad to see more about Kate and Cassie. You are getting me hooked on them.

Car said...

A great modern day spin on this one - love it!
I could feel the heat and humidity through your words, makes me NOT want to get up and go exercise now LOL!

Stephanie said...

Wonderful job!! I love how you kept the story line of Kate and Cassie! Lovely writing!! :)

Miss Pink said...

Love it!

House of Prowse said...

yes, enjoyed the modern update on this classic.

asampler said...

I'm with Cassie - I hate going out in the humidity. You created that corporate lunchtime really well.
And if you haven't seen the movie, Jane Eyre, it's absolutely beautiful.

Lisa said...

Very brave to rewrite Jane Eyre! You've 'modernised' it so very well. I think you could rewrite the entire book! I know I'd love to keep to reading it.

Andy said...

Oh how I wish I've known the books you were speaking of..I think they're lovely. I know I always say this but you do have amazing writing skills Jodie.=)



Laura Maria said...

Well done! I love the way you described Cassie 'clutching' a novel.

Sif said...

Another who was clever enough to use this exercise to run with their ongoing story - I really should have thought to do this myself!

You kept the tone very well and the subject matter (in a modern context, of course), it was a fun read!

InkPaperPen said...

I am sorry that it has taken me sooo long to read this. I was moving through the list backwards this week! This is really very good. You managed to capture the feel of the original and modernise it to suit your story. I loved it. Your paragraph had a great flow and the mood of the original was present. Awesome, Jodie